Thursday, December 26, 2019

The Gift of Encouragement - December 26, 2019

An Arkie's Faith column from the December 26, 2019, issue of The Mena Star.


In most houses, Christmas gifts are appearing around the tree. We focus on giving good gifts. We spend a lot of money and time finding the right gifts for people that are important in our life. Sometimes we stress out about getting the right gifts. For most people, money is an issue. We are limited in the gifts that we give by how much we can spend. But there is a gift that we can give that doesn’t cost us anything. It is the gift of encouragement.

In Ephesians 4:29 (NOG), Paul writes, "Don’t say anything that would hurt another person. Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed. That way, what you say will help those who hear you.” If we want to help someone, we need to encourage them. Do you know someone who needs your care and compassion today? Is there someone who would benefit from your kindness and encouragement?

As we go through life, one of the constants seems to be criticism.  I'm sure that everyone has been the recipient of criticism and has more than likely been critical of others. I have been criticized on many occasions and have myself been critical of others. Still, recently, I had experiences that made me stop and think about the impact of criticism, and its opposites, affirmation, approval, and encouragement. While I was at James Super Save Foods, a customer came up to me and told me how happy they were with the windshield repair I had done on their car. I was surprised. That is not the kind of thing that normally happens. Anyone in business is aware that a satisfied customer seldom lets you know that he is satisfied, but a dissatisfied customer will tell you that he is unhappy.

A few days ago, I met someone in Wal-Mart. She said, “I have appreciated the columns you have been writing recently. I like the personal stories.” I think that we are so used to criticism and negativity that when someone gives us some affirmation and encouragement, it takes us by surprise. Most of us aren’t accustomed to hearing encouraging words. We are more used to hearing criticism.

Some Christians that I know seem to think that their God-given job is to criticize other people that they think are living their lives wrong. They feel that somehow if they criticize the person, it will change their behavior. Not only does criticism not work, but it also has the opposite effect. Research has shown that to neutralize the emotional impact of criticism, you must affirm five times. According to Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman, writing in the Harvard Business Review, “even the most well-intentioned criticism can rupture relationships and undermine self-confidence and initiative. It can change behavior, certainly, but it doesn’t cause people to put forth their best efforts. Only positive feedback can motivate people to continue doing what they’re doing well, and do it with more vigor, determination, and creativity. Perhaps that’s why we have found with the vast majority of the leaders; positive feedback is what motivates them to continue improving.”

Paul understood this when he wrote in 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV), "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” Elizabeth Harrison, a pioneer in early childhood education in America, stated, "Those who are lifting the world upward and onward are those who encourage more than criticize.” Are you encouraging those around you or are you criticizing?

When I was in grade school, I often heard the childhood rhyme, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." That statement is not true. Words may not break our bones, but they certainly can damage our spirits. In Proverbs 12:18 (CEV), the Bible tells us, “Sharp words cut like a sword, but words of wisdom heal.”

I recently ran across a story written by Kathy Schultz. She wrote, "pink is my granddaughter's favorite color. She had been telling me this since she first discovered colors. The other night as she chatted away, she added that yellow was another one of her favorite colors."

Kathy went on to explain why her granddaughter had added yellow as a favorite color. She said that when she asked about the new favorite color, her granddaughter began by telling her that when she went to music class, Mrs. Cooke, the music teacher, told her she was a bright yellow crayon, bright as the sun.

Kathy wrote, "this is a wonderful description of my grandchild! The teacher was right. She is a bubbly, cheerful, child. Truly, she is a bright ray of sunshine." She concluded by saying, "words have such power. A small statement made by her teacher had truly inspired my granddaughter. It made her even list yellow as her favorite color. I doubt she will ever forget the teacher's kind remarks. This made me think of the words I say. Do I say kind, encouraging, inspiring words to others?"

What about you? Is there someone in your life who needs to know how much you love them? Is there someone who would benefit from your kind words and encouragement? Express your care for them verbally. Sometimes we think, “They know I love and appreciate them. I don’t need to say it out loud.” But we need to tell them what we admire and appreciate about them—they want to hear it.

Gentle Reader, any time of the year, you can give the gift of encouragement. If you do, God will encourage you! When we encourage and help others, we are showing God’s love. Show someone how much you value them for who they are. Encouragement can drastically change a person’s life! Colossians 3:12 (ISV) tells us, “Therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.” If we are compassionate, kind, humble, gentle and patient, we will be able to be an encouragement to others. This year, give the gift of encouragement.

Thursday, December 5, 2019

High School English - December 5, 2019

An Arkie's Faith column from the December 5, 2019, issue of The Mena Star.


Mrs. Langford stood in front of the class lecturing on whatever poem we were studying that day. But my mind was miles away. I was interested in space, science, sports, and that one particular beautiful blonde girl. “Old poetry was boring,” I thought. My grade in the class reflected my interest level.

Even though I didn’t enjoy the class, I still remember a few of the poems we studied. “The fair breeze blew, the white foam flew, The furrow followed free; We were the first that ever burst into that silent sea.” For some reason, those lines from The Rime of the Ancient Mariner have always stuck with me. I was recently reading an article that brought another poem from that class back to my mind. The most romantic poem, according to a survey of the magazine’s readers, was a poem from 1850. I remembered the poem from Mrs. Langford’s English class.

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach." Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote these famous words. She began writing poetry when she was eight years old. When she was 15, Elizabeth injured her spine as a result of a fall. Because of the accident, she became a shut-in. She passed the time writing poetry. In 1844, Robert Browning wrote to Elizabeth, admiring her poems. He continued to write to her, and they were engaged in 1845.

Elizabeth's father disapproved of Robert. In 1846, Elizabeth and Robert were secretly wed and moved to Italy. In 1850, Elizabeth's published her best-known book of poems, titled “Sonnets from the Portuguese.” The book contains 44 sonnets of love for Robert. He often called her "my little Portuguese" because of her dark complexion. The most famous sonnet is number 43, which begins, "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways." Even if you do not appreciate 19th-century poetry, you can tell that these are poems from the heart.

Even though it topped a magazine survey, I don’t think it is the greatest love poem of all time. The greatest love poem is found in the Bible in John 3:16,17 (NKJV) “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.”

What beautiful words. Notice that it is the whole world that God loves, not a single nation, not a single race. Not just the “good” people, not just the people who love God back. “God so loved the world.” He loves the lovable and the unlovable; The popular, and the unpopular; Those who love Him, and those who never think of Him.

I recently had an internet “discussion” with someone who doesn’t believe that God loves everyone. I wondered why he felt so strongly that God’s love is conditional? Some Christians find it hard to accept the fact that God freely gives His love and grace. They want to place limits on God’s love. They prefer to think that God only loves the same people they love and that God despises the same people they despise. To condone the fact that there are groups of people that they hate, they need to feel that God also hates those people.

To put it bluntly, these people are wrong. God loves the world, and that includes both those who are just like us and those who are different from us. If Jesus didn’t come into the world to condemn people, why should we? Jesus came to lift up, not to put down. Jesus didn’t come to condemn us; Jesus came to offer us eternal life. We should follow His example.

God has written us a love letter. I was never much of a letter writer, but when my wife and I were dating, five hundred miles separated us. I became a letter writer. Every day when I got home from work I wrote her a letter. Imagine how I would have felt if she didn’t read my letters. Imagine how God feels when we neglect to read the love letter he has written to us.

In that love letter, we find these beautiful words, “But in all these things we are completely victorious through God who showed his love for us. Yes, I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor ruling spirits, nothing now, nothing in the future, no powers, nothing above us, nothing below us, nor anything else in the whole world will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39 (NCV)

There is a sad but poignant story from the life of Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Her father disapproved of her courtship with Robert Browning. When they became engaged, her father refused to allow Elizabeth to marry. When she secretly married Robert, her father disowned her, but that didn’t stop her from keeping in touch. Almost weekly she wrote him a letter. Not once did he reply. After ten years she received a large box in the mail. Inside she found all of her letters. Every one of them was unopened! Today those letters are among the most beautiful in classical English literature, yet her father never read a single one of them.

Gentle Reader, the Bible, is God’s love letter to us. The love of Jesus waits on each page! Don’t leave your love letters unopened and unread. God loves you, and he wants to tell you just how much. Open the Bible, His love letter to you, and listen to what He has to say to you. “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3 (NIV)